첨삭 답변드립니다.

My childhood neighborhood is always comfortable and nice because my beloved family lives there and I have childhood memories. 

-> 잘 작성해 주셨습니다.

 Q10. activities that you enjoy doing in your neighborhood 

Well,,,I usually go to the park with my friends. I talk with my friends while eating some foods on the lawn, and take pictures, look at the scenery of park or while listening to music I take a walk or take a nap. and sometimes watch busking. 

Well, I usually go to the park with my friends. I talk with my friends while eating some foods on the lawn, take pictures, take a walk or take a nap while watching the scenery of the park or listening to music. And sometimes I watch busking.

 Q6. What I do before and after watching a movie.

I go to the bathroom before watching a movie. Because when I go to the bathroom in the middle of watching a movie, my immersion is broken and I don’t want to be bothered. And one more thing,, I buy snacks such as popcorn, nachos, squid, and coke and wait. After I finish watching the movie, I throw away the trash and go to the bathroom right away. 

I go to the bathroom before watching a movie. Because I don't want to be disturbed when I go to the bathroom in the middle of watching a movie, my immersion is broken, so I go to the bathroom in advance. And one more thing, I buy snacks such as popcorn, nachos, squid, and coke and wait. After I finish watching the movie, I throw away the trash and go to the bathroom right away.

 Q7. one's favorite movie theater 

I used to watch the movie Avatar in 3D, and when I went to Disneyland before, I had a 4D video experience and it was so fun and immersive. The chair moved, the wind and water came out. It felt like I was in the video. I want to go to the 4D movie theater or IMAX movie theater later. I haven't been there yet. But, I think it's more immersive and fun than 3D. It's short sleeves on top and long pants on bottom. 

When I went to Disneyland, it was my first time to experience a 4D video, and it was so fun and full of immersion. The chairs were moving and wind and water came out. It was like in a video. I've watched the movie Avatar in 3D before, but I want to go to the 4D movie theater or IMAX movie theater later. I haven't been there yet, but I think it would be more immersive and fun than 3D.

 Q4. my first experience on a trip

My first destination was Jeju Island. I lived in mountain village, so I had to leave the village to find a beach. Personally, I prefer the beaches of jeju island. The sea water was emerald green and crystal clear. There were dark gray rocks on the shallow sea side, and they were in good harmony well with the sea. The wind blews hard, so ruined my hairstyle. But as soon as looking at the emerald green ocean, I felt refreshing and healing. And there were many pretty cafes around. I drank coffee and took many pretty pictures while looking at the beach. The beaches of jeju island are the prettiest beaches in Korea, and definitely my favorite.

My first destination was Jeju Island. Since I lived in a mountain village, I had to leave the village to find the beach. Personally, I prefer beaches on Jeju Island. The sea water was emerald and crystal clear. There were dark gray rocks on the shallow sea side, and they matched well with the sea. The strong wind blew, so I messed up my hairstyle. But as soon as I saw the emerald sea, I felt refreshed and refreshed. And there were many pretty cafes around. I took many pretty pictures after drinking coffee and looking at the beach. I think the beaches in Jeju Island are the prettiest beaches in Korea, and they are definitely my favorite.

-> 다소 어색한 부분에 대한 수정이 조금 필요했습니다. 관사, 접속사, 수의 일치에 조금 더 주의를 기울이시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 수고하셨습니다.