I think “Working from the office is more effective than working from home.

-> 자신의 생각을 먼저 이야기 한 후 그 근거를 풀어내시는 것이 좋을 것 같습니다.

I think home can’t concentrate on studying. 

-> it’s hard to concentrate on something at home.

When studying, students usually study at a library or cafe. 

->For this reason, many students also study in cafes and libraries, not at home.

In the case of working home, employees will be distracted their focusing. Also, a monitoring director doesn't exist.

It results in lower productivity.

->The same goes for working from home. If you work from home, your concentration will be distracted, and there will be no one watching, so you will do something else during your work. Which will reduce your work efficiency 

For these reasons, I think “Working from the office is more effective than working from home.

-> 문법적 오류는 발생하지 않았으나, 전체적인 흐름상 수정이 필요했습니다.

2) I agree that "children these days study more than in the past"

First, Society has become more and more competive. 

-> First, society is becoming more and more competitive 

It is essential to learn English, Japanese and Chinese... 

->Now it’s essential to learn a second language such as English, Japanese, and Chinese 

I saw the news that a topic “too much academic are influcences with dagerous to childeren” 

-> 문맥상 생략하시는 것이 좋을 것 같습니다.

In the past, the place that gathered children is a playground. 

but these days the place is an academic

We can't see children in a playground. The playgound is unoccupied. Because they are studying in academic.

-> Many children spend a lot of time at the academy. In the past, the place where children gathered was a playground, but now it’s an academy.

For these reasons, I agree that “children these days study more than in the past”

3) If I got a raise, I think I would most likely spend money on a trip. 

-> I will spend the most money on travel.

Trip gives us memorable experiences. I think experience in a new place makes me more growth.

-> This is because traveling gives me unforgettable memories. And Experience in another new place makes me grow.

Also, traveling with my friends makes our relationship closer! With drinking, secret mood is so perfect. The mood makes us that we talk to share our secret stories. It is so memorable experiences!

Additionally, the expericencing makes us to feel happy.

P.184`187

01. Yes, I agree that "Focusing on the task rather than doing what it takes simultaneously results in higher productivity" for a few reasons. with you for a few reasons: "Focusing on your work rather than doing what you need to do at the same time increases your productivity." 

First, we are focused on one thing, we are higher productivity because focusing in one side, that is, we are less stressed. 

When diverse tasks give us, we can distract. That results in lower productivity.

Also, I guess maybe someone forgot the one of tasks. It results from company's loss. 

you will be more productive if you focus on one thing, because it will cause less stress. Given a variety of tasks, it can be distracted, which can reduce productivity, and you can skip tasks. It can cause losses to the company.

Therefore, I think that focusing on work rather than doing what is needed at the same time results in increased the task rather than doing what it takes simultaneously results in higher productivity.

02.I think the most important thing to be a good supervisor is a sense of humor. The mood at work is more positive. It leads to encouragement, I think encouragement is a small range about having a sense of humor. Having a sense of humor makes it a good and positive atmosphere at work. It has a positive effect on employees. It lowers employees' stress and makes them work more productively. These situations allow them to talk freely about their own idea. 

A sense of humor creates a good atmosphere at work. Also, humor lowers employees' stress and makes them feel free to give out their ideas. It makes employees work productively and has a positive effect on the company.

03. I agree that using the latest technology technologies brings success to the a company for several a few reasons. First, using the latest technology technologies is more productive. This is Because it is easily accessible it g ets accessed easily anytime, anywhere. Also, using the latest technologies brings their employees satisfaction to the employees. The reason is that This is because it improves the company's loyalty and motivatesmotivated them to work efficiently.  

For these reasons. I belive that using the latest technology brings success to the a company.

04. The advantages of pursuing an in intership in one's field of interest is that we can experience work in our field of interest in advance. It is gives us an opportunity to rethink about our aptitude again. I think this alone is the best most advantage because I can see in advance that only the theory is fun, and we can know in advance that the field may be different. Also, it is a helpful experience for job search in the long term run. This is because it allows us to experience practical work in advance. 

05. It doesn't matter either way,  Either is fine, but I prefer to work in a marketing department, because  I am majoring in marketing,  my major in marketing department, so I specialize in marketing, and I do have various activities of marketing. Marketing is a really interesting department. I think the department that shows achivements the best Performance is the best. For example, marketing famous people such as idols and actors is the best.  the best thing is "famous people" such as idol, actor. 

Their success depends on the performance of their marketing performance . Good marketing results in good performances, but bad marketing results in a company's bankrupt. I want to be good at marketing and lead the success of companies and people. bring about the success of the company and people by doing good marketing. These are the reasons I prefer to work in a marketing department.

06. No, I disagree. The best way to learn a new work skills is to read the by reading manual. for a few reasons. 

First, work is a various problem arise when working and you have to deal with them quickly.

situation, so we creatively cope with the problems

For example, the manual does not cope with the situation because there are various unexpected

situations. 

The manual helps you cope with unexpected things. 

So, I disagree with this idea and this topic.

07. The disadvantage of making decisions with a group of people at work is to not be participating in the work. 

For example, a team project at of a university that generates a new words, in Korean. 

This situations happen anytime, anywhere.

This situation is generated everywhere, whenever. 

I have experience, so I think the disadvantage is not participating of in making decisions with a group of people at work.]

 is to be not participating people. And this is unfair.

08. I think the most important attribute of a business partner is Credibilityreliability.

Because I have seen bright quir a few people betraying who betrayed while in business. Without trust, relationships in general will exist. Even if its tied to a business thats directly linked to money,I think even if it leads to a business that is directly connected to money, it is more likely to go in that its headed for a bad direction.

말씀하신 것처럼. 전치사, 관사 부분에서 사소한 오류가 발견됐습니다. 또한 문장의 흐름상 생략해도 되는 문장들이 발견되어 수정이 필요했습니다.

하지만 전체적으로 자신의 의견을 큰 오류 없이 잘 작성해 주셨습니다. 수고하셨습니다.