I disagree that the most important aspect of a job is the money a person earns, for a couple of reasons. The main reason is that there are lots of things that you cannot buy by the with money.

For example, I have a lot of experience that, from my work. Even though I could earn money but there are lots of things that I cannot buy.

-> ‘예를 들어, 직장에서 경험이 있습니다.’는 흐름상 어색합니다. From my previous job, I learned that there are other things more valuable than money: friendship and work experience. 라고 쓴다면 뒤에 이어지는 직장 동료들과의 우정, 직장경력 등과 자연스럽게 이어지겠습니다.

I met a lot of people who became friendly, friend good friends with me and also, I got some work experience that I could not experience from the other place elsewhere, or, that I couldn't buy. and Secondly, having a lot of money is not a happy thing does not necessarily lead to happiness. Because, if you have a lot of money, you will get have a lot of concerns because of handling that big,, amount of money. That's all.